6 month review

My son is 6 months old today! Hallelujah! I thought I’d take this opportunity to jot down some things I’m happy we did, some things I regret, and some things that surprised me.

I’m so happy we had a homebirth — I never once regretted simply not have to go anywhere while in labour, or just after giving birth, and not exposing our newborn to hospital germs (as clean as they are, hospitals will always be the place where sick people go, and you can’t eliminate contact entirely). Of course, this was only possible because we were able to get a wonderful certified midwife (Aleks @thevitalwoman on Instagram ❤) and I was lucky enough to have a very healthy, boring pregnancy and delivery, and because if anything were to go wrong in the moment, we could literally see the hospital from the end of our driveway.

I’m also so, so glad my mom was here for the last couple weeks of pregnancy and first month of Dan’s life. It was an absolute godsend to have her around to make sure I ate good healthy food and to do laundry and to just bring me things like water or napkins, and hold the baby of course. Thank you, thank you, thank you mom. Because of her, I got to just lie around cuddling the baby, which made for great bonding and helped make our breastfeeding relationship so smooth.

I don’t regret deciding not to post photos of him on social media. He’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen, of course, but man would y’all be sick of seeing him. My phone is almost all baby pics now. I don’t regret that either. Anyways, it’s better to limit social media use for my own sanity and for my family’s health.

I didn’t think I would want them, but I’m glad we got a couple of baby swings/rocking chairs, even though he’s already outgrown them now. He loved sitting in these and it often made it possible for Roman and I to have a sit-down meal together.

I’m glad I insisted on the cute bassinet in the stroller — this doubled as a travel crib when we visited Toronto and San Francisco, and it just makes me so happy. Dan really likes to lie on his tummy and doesn’t like to be curled up in his carseat (which can also sit in the stroller) so sometimes he prefers to lie on his tummy in the bassinet and look around while we walk (he can lift his head high enough to see out).

I’m super happy we didn’t bother reading any parenting books or trying to stick to some strict way of doing these. There’s all these fancy theories out there about the best way to do this or that, but none of it is based on actual evidence, and your instincts will get you far. Plus, I get all the highlights from my lovely doppleganger Rae (thanks for being my personal sparknotes).

I’m happy we didn’t worry too much about safety recommendations and slept with Dan in our bed for the first four months until he started crawling. It saved me so much sleep and pain not having to get all the way up to feed him in those early healing days, and it was so easy to obsessively check he was still breathing (which I still sometimes get up to check). I’m glad we transitioned him to his crib when we did, though, because now he’s too wiggly for me to sleep well next to him (even in a safe place such as the floor).

I was surprised how quickly he started needing toys, and then how quickly he gets bored of them or of a particular setting. It helps a lot these days to go hang out in a park or at a friend’s just for the new sights and smells.

I’m very glad we got Polaris, even if everyone thought we were crazy to get a puppy while pregnant. He keeps me active and healthy and walking when I might otherwise have liked to be a couch potato, and now Dan is so entertained watching him run around — which is great because it gives me a few more minutes to do chores.

Likewise, I didn’t expect how much Dan would be fascinated by watching slightly older babies and toddlers. Nicole (almost 2) came to stay with us before he was crawling or eating solids, and now he’s enthusiastic about both — in part, I think, because of watching her.

I’m super glad we decided to do cloth diapers. Originally I said it was just for the cost savings — it’s definitely cheaper if you live in Ontario and plan to have multiple kids. As an Ontarioan, I plumb forgot that water costs money in hot dry places like LA, so I’m not sure it’s cheaper here. Also, the cheap-ness relies on you having the discipline to not buy every cute new diaper pattern you see. But they’re so cute, and also obviously better for the environment, and I think they’re better for him too. When we’ve briefly used disposables e.g. when travelling, he’s much more likely to get a rash and I worry they keep too much heat in (especially for LA). Plus, washing and drying cloth diapers in the hot LA sun has been a breeze. Breastmilk poop is super easy to wash out, though, so we’ll see how it goes now that he’s starting real food.

I’m so happy we got him baptized with all our family present and that he has such lovely godparents. It was a beautiful ceremony and so nice to have a big family picnic for the first time in ages!

I’m happy we didn’t buy any clothes for him whatsoever, and that almost all his stuff is second-hand. I think so far I’ve bought four new toys, and a set of baby bowls and spoons. That, and the stroller. Everything else was gifts and second-hand. This whole baby thing is not nearly as expensive as I had feared (yet).

Finally, I don’t remotely regret taking the full year of maternity leave. This may seem extravagant to American friends, but it’s normal in Canada and so, so worth it. He changes so much each day and I love playing with him and not having to worry about other work. It means I have time to keep the house clean for him, look after my own physical and mental health, take him and the dog for walks, cook healthy food for us all, and generally make things as smooth as possible. I love how much we’ve bonded and I can tell which kind of cry means what, even though the cry quality and problems he’s dealing with change over the course of a few weeks. I hope one day to re-engage in my passion for scientific research, but right now I don’t miss it and I’m so happy to be doing this different but also important work. Like any work, it’s sometimes tedious or frustrating, but I don’t find I’m generally bored, and it’s far from fruitless.

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