Being Embarrassed All The Time

How I deal with feeling shameful all the time

I get embarrassed easily.

I get embarrassed by the way I answer the phone. I get embarrassed by the way I walk. I get embarrassed by the amount of time it takes me to choose the right avocado in the supermarket.

I get embarrassed at night, thinking back on all the times I made a fool of myself.

Of course, it’s not the end of the world to feel embarrassed from time to time. But if you’re embarrassed easily, like I am, it can definitely hold you back. If you’re always punishing yourself for every small mistake, you become cautious.

You start over-analyzing your own behavior, and it gets harder and harder to take risks and be spontaneous.

And the feeling of cringe isn’t exactly a pleasant feeling.

As Carl Gustav Jung puts it:

Which is why I decided (as part of my journey, to be more vulnerable and less risk-averse) to deal with my constant embarrassment.

Shame is defined as “the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.”

From an evolutionary perspective, shame is a very valuable emotion. Humans are, after all, social and interdependent creatures. For a long time, our survival depended on our connections with others.

Having others devalue us was a threat to our existence, so it makes sense that those people that tried their best to be valued by others had a higher chance of survival.

Daniel Sznycer, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Montreal, states:

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