Learning Patterns

I am a contortionist to your
extortion habit, your
blind assumptions
bred from overconsumption of
your thought process; that mad mess
from over obsessing, living in sadness.
Fake politeness
behind which hides
the vicious, tearing snap, unexpected
leaving teeth marks
snarling and ripping
right through my bloody heart
with your lofty ideas, a galleria
of thoughts marbled by patterns
wrought by knots, wrapped so tightly. But you see
I’ve been here so many times
different versions of you, different signs
You’re not special, just a lesson
the universe has been pressing, testing me
Showing me how to rise again
I almost did once
Ruminating, posturing, trying to fit in
trying to find my place in
This salty mess, maybe in excess
often suppressing, almost aggressively
I’m losing my fear of falling, though
focused on the climb after I spent too much time crawling
I am finally exhaling all the bullshit
and I won’t quit
Speaking. Up. For. Myself.
Your low lies
won’t survive
in my atmosphere

It ends here

A poem from my 2018 self-published chapbook, ‘First You Have To Suck Out The Poison’

Listen to me reading this poem here: https://soundcloud.com/persephonerisingmusic/learning-patterns

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