How Donald Trump Ruined My Hotel Stays

HUMOR

A suite and sour story. Or, am I comparing apples and oranges?

The Presidential Suite was once mine for the asking.

Back in the good old days all I had to do at hotel check-in was smile, indicate that I’d checked with Michelle and Barack before my hotel arrival, had been assured that they didn’t need their room that night, and I was in. Front desk personnel would laugh or smile at my cheeky approach and grant me their suite, if it was available. Sometimes I’d have to pay a little extra, but it was totally worth it.

I’ve written about the experience in the story below.

This approach worked in Vietnam, Amsterdam, San Francisco and several other locations.

But from 2016 to 2020 everything changed, disappointingly so.

In spite of the fact that there are roughly 74 million Trump-supporting idiots in the country, apparently none of these fools work the front desk at hotels I’m interested in staying at.

Early on, I did try my POTUS Suite trick … once. In an attempt to weasel my way into a presumably vacant Presidential Suite, I claimed jokingly to have checked with Donald and Melania. But my gambit was met with a blank stare and stony silence, presumably from a sane and rational person who didn’t support the Orange Julius Caesar. This must have been in a “bluish” part of the country. Even then, I hated the thought of using Trump’s name to get something of value. It seemed wrong on so many levels. Thereafter, I stopped my Presidential Suite ploy.

But, a new day is dawning. On January 20, 2021 I’ll be back to my old tricks.

“Excuse me” I should be able to say at hotel check in, “but Joe and Jill will not be needing the Presidential Suite this evening. I’d be happy to take it off your hands if it’s free.”

Trump can stay at his own places.

If the Biden’s change their travel plans at the last minute and want to share, I’d be happy to sleep on the fold-out sofa in the living room.

2021 will be a good year.

Sick of reading this one? Read this instead …

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